Before There Was Dubya, There Was Dan

Dan Quayle, vice president under George H.W. Bush, was -- in many ways -- even more Dubya than Dubya. While he lacked Dubya's redneck charm, he was a constant source of great quotes. To take us back to those glory days of the Bush/Quayle Regime (circa 1988 to 1992), here is a sampling of some classic Dan Quayle boners:

• "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."
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• "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

• "You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be."

• "El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans, I have heard a single voice."

• "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
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• "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

• "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

• "We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

• "We have a firm commitment to NATO. We are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
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• "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

• "My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right."

• "I deserve respect for the things I did not do."

• "I feel that this is my first year, that next year is an election year, that the third year is the mid point, and that the fourth year is the last chance I'll have to make a record since the last two years; I'll be a candidate again. Everything I do in those last two years will be posturing for the election. But right now I don't have to do that."

• "This President is going to lead us out of this recovery."

• "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
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• "For NASA, space is still a high priority."

• "[The U.S. victory in Gulf War was a] stirring victory for the forces of aggression."

• "Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement."

• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

• "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

• "Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If there is oxygen, then we can breathe."

• "The future will be better tomorrow."
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• "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history."

• "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

• "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

• "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Vice President, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"

• "Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the -- to the back!"

• "The loss of life will be irreplaceable."

• "Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense.' In other words a good offense wins."
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• "It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."

• "This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs."

• "Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists."

• "We lead in exporting jobs." -- Quayle committed this boner while speaking to the Chamber of Commerce of Evansville, Indiana, a city which lost four large companies in the previous four years. He changed the word 'jobs' to 'products.'

• "If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."

• "We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."

• "Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win."

• "[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

• "Clinton cannot possibly win in 2000." -- Referring to Bill Clinton, who had already served two terms as President by 2000.

• "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."

• "Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out, and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever."

• "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
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