Qualidade de Vida

I’m sorry – can I say these words?  I am so glad I am not living in the United States of America.

Seriously - let’s look at the facts.

I earn a living by working about 15 hours a week.

I drink fresh fruit juice almost every day (name your fruit – I drink it – for cheap).

The Brazilian government is not chomping at the bit to invade another country.

Family is everything here. More than vacation or ice cream.

Health care for all citizens is mandated in the constitution.

Gay couples have the right to partner and get the subsequent benefits.

The beaches are perfect, and the people at the beaches blow you away.

OK – so taxes are high, but don’t sweat the small things.

Our housing bubble has not burst yet.

You can eat chicken hearts at almost every restaurant.

Men in Speedos look better than men in surfer shorts.

There are two huge specialty chocolate company chains competing for your loyalty.

Mango ice cream.

I have not worn laced up shoes (except sneakers) in three years.

Which Sunday is today?

Qualidade de vida, baby!

Miss Gay Brazil 2011

Great night last night. Luiz and I went to the Miss Gay Brazil pageant hosted at the Unidos da Tijuca samba school quadra. LOADS of queer guys.

I felt like the paparazzi, catching all the grrlz in their finest. But they LOVE the camera!  Hahaha

The show was great. I especially loved the intermission (between the regional costume portion and the evening gown portion of the pageant) that drummed the hell out of the place and featured super cute near naked boyz dancing and gesticulating all up in our face.  You go boyz! (I was too entranced to remember to take photos.)

Here’s a little look-see into the event from the photos I took..

Oh – and somehow we didn’t leave until nearly 5:00 a.m.  Plus the bus taking us home was PACKED and we had to stand. At nearly 5:00 in the morning!  Brazilians love their parties.

Oh - and I should mention that Miss Santa Catarina took home the honor.

Catholics in Brazil

Can't we all just get along?

I try not to be too political on this blog.  I know it will alienate some readers. But some issues (LGBT rights, human rights, women’s rights, freedom, etc.) get me going enough that I break my soft rule and make a post anyway.

This time it is about the Catholics. Sigh.

I was raised a Catholic. Being a devoted Catholic was encouraged in my family. My mother is a devoted Catholic, as is her life partner. But about 35 years ago I gave up Catholicism for Lent.  ;-)  Never to look back.

So here in Brazil, the oft-touted largest Catholic nation in the world (note to world: most people don’t actually believe or practice), it is news that the Catholic population is shrinking faster than people have thought or believed. In 2003, 74% of the Brazilian population identified as Catholic. In 2009 it was only 68%. [sad face…]

"That is a strong transformation rate. Changes that take place in 100 years are now taking place within ten. If this drop of one in 100 Catholics each year continues, in 20 years, less than half of the population will be Catholic," said Marcelo Neri, the head of Getulio Vargas Foundation. [sad face…]

Brazil remains the most Catholic country in the world, with 130 million adherents, but this is the first time in 140 years that less than 70 percent of the population is Catholic. [sad face…]

As a Gay Man looking for equality (not to mention women who need medical freedom or trans people who just need to be SEEN!) I say – happy us – that the so-called Christian church, the Catholics, are waning in power.

There – I said it.

Here is the source of the quotes.

Niterói Gay Pride and Rio without Homophobia

The Niterói Gay Pride Parade was last night.  Half of me loved the street party that started at about 5:00 p.m. and continued until about midnight.  The other half of me was over the noise and revelry after we were home and trying to sleep at 11:00 p.m.

The huge street party, closing traffic on the avenue along Praia de Icaraí, had traffic rerouted to the street just below our bedroom window. Drivers were not happy and let us know with their horns (Brazilian drivers love to use their horns).

I love a good party. And we went to participate in this party.  But us older guys go home sooner than the young folks that dominate these sorts of events. (Very cute folks, I might add.)  I laid in bed for a very long time listening to drunken revelers making their way home under my bedroom window.  But goddess bless them – I was there once. It was not a big deal.

Sign me up as pro-Gay Pride Parade in Niterói!

More importantly, the theme was once again “Anti-Homophobia.”

There is a very well-funded campaign by the Rio state government to combat homophobia. Lots of media and collateral print materials.

The campaign is called “Rio without Homophobia.”  Nice to see. But as Luiz (in his professional tourism capacity points out) would remind us this is an economic strategy in the build up to the World Cup and the Olympics. It is a tourist publicity campaign.

But that’s OK by me. If you can get hotels to display “Rio sem Homofobia” stickers in their front windows (and on their websites) to try and attract more clients (and actually be less offensive) then I’m all in favor of a legislative or economic campaign that encourages merchants to be less offensive.  Call me practical.

I know you cannot legislate tolerance – but if you can educate folks to be less offensive in an effort to see their business grow – well, I’m all for that.

The Rio Sem Homophbia campaign is robust. It was all over the Niterói Gay Pride Parade yesterday. Let’s hope it catches even more traction.

Check out the Rio Sem Homofobia campaign here.

Gay Pride week in Rio

Note the text in the flag.

This Sunday is the Gay Pride event in Niterói. Luiz has invited a bunch of friends over for a lunchtime party, then we will join the street party in progress, just a few blocks away.

Gay Day in Rio is set for Sunday, October 9th in Copacabana. Mark your calendar. Here is the official program:

Official Program and Events| Rio de Janeiro Gay Pride 2011

Date: October 9, 2011.
Meeting Point : at 1 PM (13:00 hs.)
Posto 6 - Forte de Copacabana / Sofitel Hotel

This year, October is the month of LGBT Pride. Though the march is the most important event, a full week of activities is promoted by the Arco-Iris, the nonprofit organization that organizes the parade.

All dates are yet to be confirmed by Arco-Iris.

The official program of the 16th LGBT Pride Parade in Rio de Janeiro is yet to be released.
Considering last year's calendar, the events for 2011 are most likely to be as follows:

Date: October 4, at 7 PM
Venue: Teatro Carlos Gomes - Centro
Opening show of the 16th. LGBT Pride Parade-Rio 2011

Date: October 4 to 9
Location: Galeria do Centro Cultural Sergio Porto - Humaitá
Exhibition in 2009: "Our history, our strength, our voice: 15 years of LGBT Pride Parade-Rio"

Date: October 7 and 8, 2 PM - 10 PM
Location: Castelinho Flamengo
Movies Shows Metaphors of Diversity

Date: October 8, from 11:30 PM
Local: Cine Ideal - Downtown Rio
Ideal National Pride

Date: October 11 to 4 - 7 PM
Venue: Teatro Gláucio Gil - Copacabana
Self-Portraits - shows Resgate da Cultura Transformista do Rio

Date: October 1 4, 3 PM to 10 PM
Location: Castelinho Flamengo and other sites to confirm

Cycle Arco-Iris Thinking LGBT Citizenship and
State Seminar on AIDS and LGBT Health

Date: October 5 and 6 - 7 PM
Location: Sala Baden Powell - Copacabana
Voices of Diversity - musical show with LGBT singers

Date: October 7 - 9 PM
Local: Cine Ideal - Center
Official Opening Celebration and Party - 15th LGBT Pride Parade Rio - 2011

Date: October 7 - 8 PM
Venue: Teatro João Caetano - Downtown
8th Arco-Iris Awards for Human Rights

Date: October 8, from 10 AM to 10 PM
Location: Terreirão Samba and Centro de Artes Calouste Gulbenkian - Downtown (to be confirmed)
Culture Fair Arco-iris LGBT
Lesbifest - Festival of Culture and Diversity among lesbians and bisexual women

Date: October 8, at 10 PM
Location: Night Club 1140 - Praça Seca - Jacarepaguá
Pre-Parade Party

Date: October 9, 9 AM to 6 PM
Location: Copacabana, Posto 6
Action Pride, Citizenship and Human Rights (stalls and information services for the general population)

Date: October 9, at 1 PM
Location: Copacabana, Posto 6
16th LGBT Pride Parade-Rio 2011

Date: October 9, at 10 PM
Location: Le Boy - Copacabana
Closing Party of the 16th LGBT Pride Parade - Rio 2011

Keep checking here for final details.

Missing US Gay Culture

I miss talkin’ trash, gay style. Throwin’ some shade; spillin’ some tea; workin’ my chicken neck (which I learned in high school in Detroit).

It’s not for everyone, but, Jonny McGovern is a gay comedian who produces a LONG podcast that is totally US gay, southern California/New York style.  Very fun when you are cooking all afternoon.

If you are not hip to gay/lesbian- speak and want to be a voyeur, check it out.

Go to iTunes and search for Gay Pimpin’ with Jonny McGovern.

Love you Jonny!

Dyke March in Rio - Mark your calendar

Mark your calendars – this year’s Dyke March in Rio is scheduled for Sunday, August 28th, in Copacabana.

The annual LGBT Pride March is set for Saturday, September 10th, also in Copacabana.

This video has lesbian and bi women speaking to the newly elected female president insisting on equality.

Come join the action to raise visibility for Lesbians.

Be there or be square.

Gay Pride in São Paulo

June 26^th is Gay Day in San Francisco.  750,000 or so people will pack Market Street and the Civic Center to celebrate all things LGBTQQI. It is the highlight of the year and is the second largest public event in California, after the Rose Bowl parade.  Oh the memories.

Luiz and I lived within a quick, downhill walk of the Civic Center so each year we would host a Gay Day Brunch where friends would gather, fuel up on a good breakfast buffet (and cocktails), put the finishing touches on their special apparel (you can never over-accessorize on Gay Day) and strategic makeup, and then spill out onto the street to take in a full, long day of joyfulness.

This year, June 26^th is also the 15th annual Gay Day parade in São Paulo. While we won’t be attending, we love following the festivities online.  The event in São Paulo is the largest LGBT party on the planet.  This year they could well host 3 million participants. THAT’S a PARTY!

The theme of the event this year is “Love each other, end homophobia.”

For fun, the organizers have come up with the idea of getting everyone on the street dancing with each other, a sort of debutante ball. The organizers are preparing a waltz in the center of the city. They have provided a remix version of the Blue Danube waltz to each of the 17 tri-electricos that will be keeping the crowd in high gear. Whenever the Blue Danube waltz is played, everyone is encouraged to dance with whoever is next to them.  FUN!

Gay people are so clever.

Thanks to the Inside São Paulo team for posting about this on their terrific blog about all things São Paulo.  Check them out.

Book Review: Sing You Home

This was my first Jodi Picoult novel. I recently watched a segment of an Ellen DeGeneres show where she interviewed Ms. Picoult and discussed this book.  The subject matter is dear to my heart so I took the bait.  I’m glad I did.  This was a thoroughly enjoyable read (and at times it provided a compelling excuse to avoid my translation work).

Picoult has a beautiful use of language and I enjoyed the rather female point of view she put on the page.

Rather than try and write my own review let me just say I recommend this book and have included below paraphrased excerpts of a March 15, 2011 review by Susan Salter Reynolds published in the Los Angeles Times.  I will also include it in my list of books available for lending at the Expat Lending Library.

Oh, and I should mention that the book comes with a CD that includes original tracks that reflect the mood and emotion of Zoe, the main character (and music therapist), as she winds her way through the story.  Cute touch. Music by Ellen Wilber; lyrics by Jodi Picoult; all songs are performed by Ellen Wilber.

Here are bits from the review:

Picoult is known for her ability to shed light on the issues affecting domestic life in America. She picks an issue — in the case of Sing You Home, same-sex couples and the emotional and legal issues surrounding fertility procedures — and explores it from several perspectives, including legal, medical, religious, political. She complicates already complicated dilemmas in her plots.

Picoult works hard to keep her characters from being straw men and women. The closer she gets to real life, real people, real problems, the better the novel. In a country as polarized as ours, for a Democrat as active as Picoult (who gives a lot of money to various causes and institutions) it's not always easy to make, say, the anti-abortion activist, the anti-gay-marriage minister or the school board bureaucrat banning books into sympathetic characters. But the writer must try. For without the insight into the motives and convictions of characters on both sides of an issue, the novel will fall flat.

When the novel opens, Zoe and Max have just had yet another miscarriage. The cost of in vitro fertilization has used up their savings (they are not wealthy), and the emotional strain of Zoe's determination and desire to force her body into motherhood has finally overwhelmed Max, who struggles with alcoholism and low self-esteem.

They divorce. Max goes to live with his wealthy brother Reid and sister-in-law Liddy, devout Christians and members of an evangelical church who are struggling with their inability to conceive. Max has a revelation one drunken night and joins the church. Zoe, a music therapist in schools and hospitals, falls in love with a guidance counselor at one of the schools — a woman named Vanessa.

Vanessa has been in the open about her sexuality since high school; Zoe has never had a sexual relationship with a woman. She just loves Vanessa. They marry but have to cross state lines (from Rhode Island to Massachusetts) to do so. When the subject of children comes up, Zoe remembers that there are three frozen embryos unspoken for in the wake of the divorce. She asks Max for permission to use them, but he's persuaded by his church's pastor (who, with his congregation, believes homosexuality to be a depraved lifestyle choice) to deny her request and offer the embryos to Reid and Liddy.

What a plot! Zoe, Max and Vanessa are thrown into decisions and situations for which they are utterly unprepared. Picoult's supporting characters — Zoe's New Age mother, a suicidal teenager Zoe treats each week, the church pastor and the lawyer who represents Zoe and Vanessa in the courtroom drama at the novel's end — are equally unforgettable, though we do not travel as far into their psyches as the author takes us into her main characters.

It's not the happy endings that keep her readers coming back, for she does not always provide them; it's the possibility that humans can be kind, even when they don't get exactly what they want.

I’m looking forward to reading Picoult’s novel My Sister’s Keeper.

Today our love and commitment turns 12

Our wedding day in San Francisco - but years after we met.

Today Luiz and I are celebrating 12 years together. We’ve come a long way together, literally and figuratively. But I don’t think either of us has had a second thought about being a couple since the first night we met (well, actually it was in the early hours of the morning – but that story is never told).

Literally weeks after we met Luiz was encouraging me to buy a ticket to Brazil and travel with him. It was May or June and he already had his ticket for December to fly home. Buy early, save big. I told him – “I might not even like you in December!” He scoffed at the very idea and said –“Just go ahead and buy the ticket. It will cost a lot more in November when you finally decide you still like me.”

I bought the ticket.

Since then we have traveled across four continents together and have come to settle in Brazil.

We are each other’s best friend. We are forever patient and forgiving with each other. And we challenge and support each other in our endeavors individually or as a couple.

We were married once in San Francisco, domestic partnered once by the City of San Francisco and once by the State of California. We had the privilege (cough) of having our relationship recognized as real by an employer of mine for the purpose of partner health benefits (we had to prove we shared a bank account, a will, and an apartment rental agreement) and have had our relationship certified as a “Stable Union” by the Brazilian government.

This morning - Luiz making a ham and cheese omelet for the two of us.

A friend once asked me: “So which day is your anniversary?” We stick with the morning I woke up in Luiz’s bed the day after we met (but that is the story that is never told).

Boys kissing - yes!

Ok, so I know I'm 50 years old, going on 51.  But I still get a thrill watching a popular TV show (even though it is on FOX) where two baby gays finally give in to it all and kiss.

Viva LGBT on TV!

(Sorry about the pop up chatter...)

Gay freedoms - and violence

Yesterday, when Luiz and I walked home from the Ivete Sangalo concert we were feeling great.  We held hands as we walked the 8 blocks home (although we were constantly looking over our shoulder for a sour reaction from others on the street).  On one or two occasions we shared a quick kiss.

To our genuine surprise, there was no push back from the others on the street.  It made me feel really good about our neighborhood.  We were just being as all the other couples on the street were being. (Except they felt free to kiss a lot more.)

But then there is this recent incident in Lima, Peru.  Courageous lesbian, gay and trans citizens were determined to take a stand by holding a “kisses against homophobia” event.  Police officers hid their name badges and beat demonstrators.

Peruvian citizens of all descriptions are protected by law to freely assemble and voice their grievances.  But then – lesbian, gay and trans people never really get the backing of their government/laws.

Those in the video are brave people, indeed.

American style football - all you need to know

I loved me some In Living Color!

Gay characters on Brazilian TV

Eloisa over at the great blog The Good Blood has posted another good "culture watch" post.

 "Insensato Coração (Foolish Heart) is the new religion telenovela now on air in Brazil, with a whooping six gay characters. Yet to be seen is the treatment that those characters will have (in previous Brazilian soaps, gay characters either die or are unhappy or grotesque or...), but for now, what activists are asking for is the first gay kiss of Brazilian television."
Go check it out.

Hopefully these days will soon be behind us.

"Secretly" - A Vintage Montage Of Guys Together from MJS on Vimeo.

It gets better - dang it!

For some of us, who struggled through tough times, it never gets old listening to others encourage everyone that IT GETS BETTER!

Two elves can really make a difference

Hope your Christmas was joyous.

Here's a touching story about how two men in New York City were somehow designated Santa's Elves and how they rose to the occasion.  It's a very sweet Christmas tale.  Check it out.

Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere




My friend for many years, COLAGE Director Beth Teper.

Please take 15 minutes and watch this.  It's a new film by a very important youth group.

It may seem off topic for an expat blog -- but this topic has been a priority for me for nearly 20 years.  As an activist in San Francisco so many years ago I instantly saw the power and primacy of supporting the children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer parents.

I have been a financial supporter of COLAGE (formerly: Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere -- and now COLAGE: People with a Lesbian, Gay, Bisxual, Transgender, or Queer Parent) from the beginning.  They have inspired me since before I had the knowledge of coming from such a family.

What sets this youth-led, organic, powerful, civil rights organization apart is their media savvy.  They have figured out how to share authentic personal stories with the media in a way that combats the "news makers" from slicing and dicing their remarks into sound bites to further hateful agendas. 

And every minute along the way they have been supporting children, youth and young adults from LGBTQ families with love and encouragement.  Their history and impact is inspiring to me.  They make me want to open my checkbook!

Just watch…

And if you want to support their work, check out this site.

"Don't Ask Don't Tell" finally hits the trash bin

While I intend this blog to be about how Luiz and I are thriving in Brazil, there are a few occasions wherein I stray from that focus.  Usually it has something to do with US politics, and more specifically, US politics as it affects our lives as gay men.

So I’m sure you’ve heard: the Congress has repealed the punishing and hypocritical “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law that our last disappointing Democratic president put into place.  (Nobody disappoints like an ally.)

Credit where it is due: President Obama has made good on a promise and has done so in a politically solid way.  He has beaten the Republicans at their own game – although I’m sure Senator McCain is not finished with his temper tantrums.

But can I work up a lather about allowing LGB people (note: trans folk are not included in this ‘victory’) to serve as pawns for the political elites who would send our armed forces to invade and/or destroy (and die, don’t forget) for invariably political purposes?  Not so much…

I have been walking an anti-war walk since I first understood what that meant.  Fighting to let ‘gays’ serve in the military has never been a top priority for me.

But then – the US military is the LARGEST employer in the United States.  Ending employment discrimination IS a top priority for me.  And for this reason I am glad that the military ban against LGB people has been lifted.

Lots of people have lots of reasons why joining the military makes sense for them.  I will not stand in opposition to all that.  I do, however, look forever with a critical eye on what and why the military is doing what it is doing – and who is telling them to do it.

But today is a day of victory for equal rights in the workplace.  I’ll take it.

Pension rights granted to gay couples in Brazil

According to the Associated Press, run in dozens of news outlets today:

The Brazilian government says gay couples in a stable relationship are entitled to the same social security pension benefits enjoyed by heterosexual couples.

The Social Security Ministry says in a Friday statement that the gay spouse of a retiree who dies will now be able to receive the pension payments once received by his or her companion. The policy covers formally registered workers who pay monthly social security fees.

Same-sex marriages are not recognized in Brazil, but 10 years ago a court in the state of Rio Grande do Sul granted same-sex couples inheritance rights and allowed them to add their partners to health insurance and retirement plans.

Since then, gay couples have been fighting for pension rights.

So another crumb of equality falls from the table.  Sure, we'll take it.  But let's get on with true equality here and elsewhere around the globe.

Rio Gay Pride 2010 pics and more

 The sunshine fairies danced samba with gusto to keep the rain at bay.  They allowed just enough misty sprinkles to wet the perfect bodies of the men and others showing off their goods.  Skin glistened in the grey light of the cool afternoon.

OK, so it was not Copacabana’s best day weather wise – but believe me, no one noticed, we were all too busy being swept up into the excitement of the 15^th annual Gay Pride Parade in Rio de Janeiro.

Seven trio electricos spread out across Copacabana Beach.

The official theme was to promote the criminalization of homophobia (hate crimes legislation).  There is a law that has been introduced (repeatedly) in Brazilia to do just that, but it has been defeated in large part because of the powerful Catholic Church lobby and other conservative so-called Christian organizations (who are thus in favor of anti-gay violence, I presume, why else?).

What a great day.  We met up with Zezinho and three of his friends and tried multiple times to hook up with Rachel and her friend, but no no avail.  The crowd was intense.

We bailed after about 6 hours, but the party was far from over.